"The Gods of Liquor and Gold: The Foundation of Civilization"

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—Tavern myths as told by wandering Bards

Gamel and Sacaros, Illus. Isisyou Stone

After Lyphos brought back the First Sword, Lumiere, and took his place as god among the humans, civilization spread throughout Raxia, driving the wild beasts into hiding. More importantly, though, was the fact that the amount of viable farmland increased greatly as well. Once crops could be harvested safely, no one went hungry, children grew up properly, life became stable, and people grew wealthy off of the land.

Until one day, a wonderful drink was created.

Alcohol.

More specifically, it was discovered that by letting grapes ferment in the right conditions, instead of becoming spoiled and unusable, the juice inside became a delightfully tart wine. Now, was this drink found out of sheer luck, or was it intentionally made, in order to see what could come of it? Either way, the one who discovered this was a man by the name of Sacaros, now known as the God of Drinking.

Of this drink, Sacaros said, "It is the ultimate blessing of both heaven and earth. It heals the fatigue from laboring, allows everyone to share in the joys of the harvest, and provides energy for the work tomorrow." In distributing this wine to the public, it was easy to see the happiness it brought to the people, such that even Lyphos was impressed by the smiles on people's faces.

Moreover, Sacaros also taught many people to make wine and other alcohol on their own, so they could enjoy the drink when he was not around. It was said that Sacaros became a god through his accomplishments, but some say that Sacaros merely bribed Lyphos with a significant amount of alcohol.

(Some drunks in the bar begin to laugh at this.)

Another theory is that, drunk off of the wine offered to him, Lyphos simply made Sacaros a god by accident in the heat of the moment.

(More laughter erupts at this point.)

After a while, though, there was a small problem that became apparent. While the demand for alcohol was high, the supply was not, especially when compared to other food and drink, and so some people started to hoard whatever alcohol they could find. In turn, the price for what alcohol was available began to skyrocket, soon becoming almost its own currency because of how valuable it was. However, people would rather have alcohol than food, and so people came to blows over the worth of the drink.

Sacaros, having a doctrine of happiness and free exchange, wasn't happy about the turn of events, and so turned to Gamel, the God of Money, for aid. As prosperity blossomed in Raxia, there were always problems related to bartering, with even Lyphos having trouble with the way the world was headed.

"To purchase a sword to defend one's self, it requires two months worth of food in exchange. However, stockpiling so much food for so long means it is not only unwieldy to transport, but it will simply rot not long after being traded to the blacksmith as well, becoming useless. Is there anything that we can do in order to prevent such issues?" Lyphos came to Gamel with his troubles as well, similar as they were to Sacaros's own problems.

To this, Gamel smiled. "Of course there's a way that we can fix this. By taking various common metals and making small coins from them that can be used in a number of different areas, then we would only need to spread these out over the world. Once the people see that these coins are valuable, then we can have them use the coins for bartering and trading in general."

Impressed by this plan, Lyphos immediately set it into motion, having his priests offer gold and silver in order to turn them into coinage. However, if you were to tell a Priest of Gamel that he only gained divine status because of this achievement, then he will attack you with silver coins.

"At this point, the bard telling the story is struck in between the eyes with a silver gamel coin himself. The audience bursts into laughter, and the performance is suspended for a bit.)

...Since Gamel established the value of items when bartering, there were significantly fewer bartering disputes, and one didn't need to carry excessive amounts of goods in order to trade for a good or service desired, just a handful of Gamel coins. The price of a song isn't something you could be able to take with you when you leave, and liquor will make you drunk. In this way, I daresay that I, too, am like the gods.

(With a flourish, the Bard takes out a big hat, and several drunks throw silver coins into it.)

Now, whether alcohol or money came first, that is a debate for the theologians. However, I'm fine with just getting a good drink at a cheap price, if I do say so myself.

(There is some drunken applause at this.)

In any case, with Gamel's gift we can pay those who can make Sacaros's gift the appropriate amount, and in this way enjoy the blessings from both gods. Today, we can relax from the fatigue of work, and gain energy for tomorrow, and so we should be thankful that these gods decided to share their gifts with us.

Now, Gamel is enshrined as an Ancient God, due to the universal value of the gift of money, while his servant Sacaros, with his profound insight, is simply a Great God. However, Sacaros doesn't feel slighted in any way by this, and says that there are as many gods of wine and drinking as there are kinds of wine, and so when we drink we all should feel like great gods. He might be on to something with that...

Both wine and money can bring joy or trouble, that they have in common. Now come on, and let us give thanks to the gods with a drink.

Cheers!